Posted 19 July 2010 - 03:21 AM
When we came to live here, we bought our house in a nice sub division built by Avida (part of Ayala) with houses to western design & standards, with guards at the entrance to control entry & exit, convenience of shops within walking distance like Jollibee, Shakeys,Chowking, Mercury Drug etc, Meat & Veg market too and a Hospital close by. All the things a westerner needs. We lived there for 4 years and couldn't wait to get out. Why? It also 2 faced people, with fake lifestyles, living on credit cards & bank loans.
Now don't get me wrong, we also had (still do) some very close friends there who also chose their friends carefully, strangely though they were all 100% Filipino.
Our 1st intro to this fake lifestyle came as we were moving in when a neighbor voiced her surprise that we hadn't bought a corner lot like hers as it was bigger & that I had a 2nd hand Toyota Surf rather than a Ford Expidition like hers (we all know the sort). Well they lasted a few months & the car was towed away & then they did a moonlite before the bank got there. Following that we had a FilAm women who is Queen Bee & along with the wife of another FilAm spend every night around the pool with Tsismis, gave her opinion on how we should have our house improved & we were doing it all wrong. To the Irish friend who a few weeks ago found out that his Filipina wife had not paid the bank but instead spent the money spoiling her brat lazy kids. Another moonlight & P8 million in debt. All around the estate are half built houses left incomplete for lack of funds for their grand designs but lots of new cars. One European guy we knew never did anything but sit outside his house reading books because his live in Filipina, spends all his money. Most have 2 or 3 maids / yaya's who have such an attitude problem & sit around texting or chikka with each other. All the residents, looking down on normal Filipinos as a race apart.
This for us wasn't the REAL Philippines but a Pseudo Philippines which was more like the Saudi Arabian style compounds which are insulated from the outside. Maybe this is due to many ex military who are used to living on bases.
So we have now moved to a house in a quiet cul de sac in Cebu. Does it have its faults, of course. Will there be fake 2 faced people, of course but and it is a big one, there are many many more who are genuine, happy, friendly people around us & a community that you will NEVER get on a Sub Division IMHO.
So choose carefully. Are you coming to the Philippines to experience the Philippines & Filipinos or do you want to transpose your Texas or California or Sydney or London etc lifestyle here.
As the saying goes, different strokes for different folks.
Uzi.
Posted 19 July 2010 - 03:43 AM
UZI, on 19 July 2010 - 03:21 AM, said:
When we came to live here, we bought our house in a nice sub division built by Avida (part of Ayala) with houses to western design & standards, with guards at the entrance to control entry & exit, convenience of shops within walking distance like Jollibee, Shakeys,Chowking, Mercury Drug etc, Meat & Veg market too and a Hospital close by. All the things a westerner needs. We lived there for 4 years and couldn't wait to get out. Why? It also 2 faced people, with fake lifestyles, living on credit cards & bank loans.
Now don't get me wrong, we also had (still do) some very close friends there who also chose their friends carefully, strangely though they were all 100% Filipino.
Our 1st intro to this fake lifestyle came as we were moving in when a neighbor voiced her surprise that we hadn't bought a corner lot like hers as it was bigger & that I had a 2nd hand Toyota Surf rather than a Ford Expidition like hers (we all know the sort). Well they lasted a few months & the car was towed away & then they did a moonlite before the bank got there. Following that we had a FilAm women who is Queen Bee & along with the wife of another FilAm spend every night around the pool with Tsismis, gave her opinion on how we should have our house improved & we were doing it all wrong. To the Irish friend who a few weeks ago found out that his Filipina wife had not paid the bank but instead spent the money spoiling her brat lazy kids. Another moonlight & P8 million in debt. All around the estate are half built houses left incomplete for lack of funds for their grand designs but lots of new cars. One European guy we knew never did anything but sit outside his house reading books because his live in Filipina, spends all his money. Most have 2 or 3 maids / yaya's who have such an attitude problem & sit around texting or chikka with each other. All the residents, looking down on normal Filipinos as a race apart.
This for us wasn't the REAL Philippines but a Pseudo Philippines which was more like the Saudi Arabian style compounds which are insulated from the outside. Maybe this is due to many ex military who are used to living on bases.
So we have now moved to a house in a quiet cul de sac in Cebu. Does it have its faults, of course. Will there be fake 2 faced people, of course but and it is a big one, there are many many more who are genuine, happy, friendly people around us & a community that you will NEVER get on a Sub Division IMHO.
So choose carefully. Are you coming to the Philippines to experience the Philippines & Filipinos or do you want to transpose your Texas or California or Sydney or London etc lifestyle here.
As the saying goes, different strokes for different folks.
Uzi.
Good assessment and points IMO Uzi but I would like to add my own comment. If a person is new to the Philippines then they may want to first learn some about it while living in a condo or gated community and then once they know their way around, then decide if another lifestyle might suit them better.
For my wife and I, I had grown up in apartments with my family and always wanted a house, so when I got married for the first time, that was what I had to have. Later on in life I went from house to house while in the US, and while living in the Philippines part of the year we found ourselves living in the provinces in our families homes or going from hotel to hotel. I found that I did not like that lifestyle, so we tried out a condo and found we really liked it, so much so that my wife and I have now been looking for a condo in Florida so we can have a place to come back to and to continue to share our time in both places while waiting for the economic recovery to hopefully come about. Condo life sure is not for everyone and I find myself mixing with people from all life styles both Filipino and non Filipino, so I do not feel it is just about where you live, I feel it is more about who we are and how approachable we make ourselves, and how carefully we pick our friends. Different strokes for different folks.
Posted 19 July 2010 - 04:17 AM
Quote
Lee,
Totally agree. If new to the Philippines, then a Condo or rental on a sub division is a safe place to start exploring for sure. Long term though, it is too imitation faux Philippines for me, although if you love city life then a condo will always a great base, not a choice if you like the country / suburbs though.
Uzi
This post has been edited by UZI: 19 July 2010 - 04:18 AM
Posted 19 July 2010 - 05:27 AM
Posted 19 July 2010 - 06:36 AM
Quote
Inspector,
On that we certainly agree. Couldn't do without my Lay Z Boy Real Philippines or not
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Posted 19 July 2010 - 10:57 AM
OK, there goes the neighborhood. My own personal interpretation of your post was more
like 95% criticism and 5% suggestion ("so choose carefully -- yada, yada, yada....").
How does that help the new members?? Please explain based on your experience on how
to deal with the so called aristocrats or fake neighbors living beyond their means. You can
easily voice your opinions on this forum but have you voiced your concerns directly towards
the neighbors that bother you? Is there a manager of the sub division you could take your
complaints to? Are they valid complaints or just nasty gossips going around among the house
maids?
Please, a little more constructive criticism would be most appreciated.
Jake
Posted 19 July 2010 - 06:14 PM
Jake, on 19 July 2010 - 10:57 AM, said:
OK, there goes the neighborhood. My own personal interpretation of your post was more
like 95% criticism and 5% suggestion ("so choose carefully -- yada, yada, yada....").
How does that help the new members?? Please explain based on your experience on how
to deal with the so called aristocrats or fake neighbors living beyond their means. You can
easily voice your opinions on this forum but have you voiced your concerns directly towards
the neighbors that bother you? Is there a manager of the sub division you could take your
complaints to? Are they valid complaints or just nasty gossips going around among the house
maids?
Please, a little more constructive criticism would be most appreciated.
Jake
Jake,
Not sure what you want from your post. "Constructive criticism"? Not really my place to tell people to stop pretending to be something they are not and spending money they don't have. These are my POV and personal experiences, relayed so that others can weigh the pros & cons of where to live. I posted it on 2 forums & most members identified with it, like this comment:
Quote
As for some of the people I referred to, I suggest you reread my post. They were all people I know and the maids observed personally. Unlike some who had nothing better to do, this isn't gossip.
Forum posts can be discussions, where members exchange their experiences & POV, so Jake how about you adding your suggestions to help new members.
Quote
Please explain based on your experience on how to deal with the so called aristocrats or fake neighbors living beyond their means.
I stayed away from them, as I found out what they were (or thought they were) & then left for a different type of people. As a FilAm, how would you have dealt with it? Would you really go to the HOA Administrator (Manager) to complain? About what? Owners not finishing their houses within a set period? What would you expect him to do?
For us, we are just loving seeing people (adults & kids) greeting us with a smile all the time and as we visit our house construction, it is nice for people to ask what this is or what are we doing there etc, showing interest not looking down their noses as if they are better than you.
These are our PERSONAL experiences, shared for others to agree or disagree with. To add their own as Lee did about Condos, to this thread as they wish.
BTW, on a personal note, not all were like that on the sub division, as I pointed out in my OP. In fact we had a phone call yesterday from a Fil Canadian & his wife to see how we were & look forward to seeing them when they visit Cebu. Unfortunately half a dozen genuine people we knew were in the minority.
Uzi.
Posted 19 July 2010 - 07:59 PM
How to deal with un-neighborly neighbors rather than move out? Apparently
they got the better of you. I'm just a little curious on how you're going to avoid
similar situations at your new sub division.
As a Filipino-American, here is my way to criticize but have offered some suggestions:
Dated Feb, 2010
http://www.philippin...indpost&p=18572
Jake
Posted 20 July 2010 - 01:31 AM
Jake, on 19 July 2010 - 07:59 PM, said:
How to deal with un-neighborly neighbors rather than move out? Apparently
they got the better of you. I'm just a little curious on how you're going to avoid
similar situations at your new sub division.
Jake
Jake,
We were & still are very good friends with our neighbors as I said in my original post. We didn't like the general attitude of the majority. No one 'got the better of me' as you put it. Also as stated in my OP, we are NOT on a sub division now.
Good to see you offer a different approach to life's situations as does Mr Lee etc. The more POV the better for readers to get a wide view of life here rather than a narrow blinkered one.
Uzi in Cebu
Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:10 PM
We're moving to Leyte in November and have a few ideas of where to live. The first thing we'll do, probably, is set up a decent quality nippa house on our farm for 30~50k. They tell us 30k, but I imagine it'll reach 50 or 60. Then we'll decide if we want to do one of those rent-to-own schemes in a sub-division near Tacloban, or build a house on her lot in the small town near our farm. The other possibility is to rent for a while in the city, but the wife's against it. I wouldn't mind.
I'm not sure I want to live in her hometown, however. Small town life seems like it'd get a bit sketchy. From what I hear, they like to gossip a lot, and if someone is doing well, the others like to try and bring them down. On top of being violent, she's not really selling me on the town, aside from we already own the lot. Oh yeah, and without question, there are a select few who will try to borrow from us at every chance.
What do you guys think? House on her lot in the small town or rent to own in subdivision or rent in the city for a while? Whether we live there or not, we'd like the nippa hut on the farm for the occasional overnight stay.
Posted 22 July 2010 - 09:18 PM
ekimswish, on 22 July 2010 - 09:10 PM, said:
We're moving to Leyte in November and have a few ideas of where to live. The first thing we'll do, probably, is set up a decent quality nippa house on our farm for 30~50k. They tell us 30k, but I imagine it'll reach 50 or 60. Then we'll decide if we want to do one of those rent-to-own schemes in a sub-division near Tacloban, or build a house on her lot in the small town near our farm. The other possibility is to rent for a while in the city, but the wife's against it. I wouldn't mind.
I'm not sure I want to live in her hometown, however. Small town life seems like it'd get a bit sketchy. From what I hear, they like to gossip a lot, and if someone is doing well, the others like to try and bring them down. On top of being violent, she's not really selling me on the town, aside from we already own the lot. Oh yeah, and without question, there are a select few who will try to borrow from us at every chance.
What do you guys think? House on her lot in the small town or rent to own in subdivision or rent in the city for a while? Whether we live there or not, we'd like the nippa hut on the farm for the occasional overnight stay.
My answer would depend on how long you have been married, and if you trust your wifes motives 100%. Many men think they know their wives and some do and some do not. It seems to be that most Filipinos dream to own their own home but IMO if your wife loves you totally, then she would be willing to be wherever you decide is the best place to be for you. My wife and I picked the city which is at least 2 hours from her closest relatives and while I like to visit them at times, and I do not mind some coming to visit us with our permission, I like our privacy and would not wish to live tooooo close to family or have anyone just drop in, and that is not because most are a problem but because some can be.
Posted 22 July 2010 - 11:03 PM
Mr. Lee, on 22 July 2010 - 09:18 PM, said:
ekimswish, on 22 July 2010 - 09:10 PM, said:
We're moving to Leyte in November and have a few ideas of where to live. The first thing we'll do, probably, is set up a decent quality nippa house on our farm for 30~50k. They tell us 30k, but I imagine it'll reach 50 or 60. Then we'll decide if we want to do one of those rent-to-own schemes in a sub-division near Tacloban, or build a house on her lot in the small town near our farm. The other possibility is to rent for a while in the city, but the wife's against it. I wouldn't mind.
I'm not sure I want to live in her hometown, however. Small town life seems like it'd get a bit sketchy. From what I hear, they like to gossip a lot, and if someone is doing well, the others like to try and bring them down. On top of being violent, she's not really selling me on the town, aside from we already own the lot. Oh yeah, and without question, there are a select few who will try to borrow from us at every chance.
What do you guys think? House on her lot in the small town or rent to own in subdivision or rent in the city for a while? Whether we live there or not, we'd like the nippa hut on the farm for the occasional overnight stay.
My answer would depend on how long you have been married, and if you trust your wifes motives 100%. Many men think they know their wives and some do and some do not. It seems to be that most Filipinos dream to own their own home but IMO if your wife loves you totally, then she would be willing to be wherever you decide is the best place to be for you. My wife and I picked the city which is at least 2 hours from her closest relatives and while I like to visit them at times, and I do not mind some coming to visit us with our permission, I like our privacy and would not wish to live tooooo close to family or have anyone just drop in, and that is not because most are a problem but because some can be.
It seems that there are too many 'not knowns' at the moment for a commitment to buying. Rent until the picture is clearer & you know as much as possible, that it is the right choice.
Uzi
Posted 22 July 2010 - 11:10 PM
UZI, on 22 July 2010 - 11:03 PM, said:
Mr. Lee, on 22 July 2010 - 09:18 PM, said:
ekimswish, on 22 July 2010 - 09:10 PM, said:
We're moving to Leyte in November and have a few ideas of where to live. The first thing we'll do, probably, is set up a decent quality nippa house on our farm for 30~50k. They tell us 30k, but I imagine it'll reach 50 or 60. Then we'll decide if we want to do one of those rent-to-own schemes in a sub-division near Tacloban, or build a house on her lot in the small town near our farm. The other possibility is to rent for a while in the city, but the wife's against it. I wouldn't mind.
I'm not sure I want to live in her hometown, however. Small town life seems like it'd get a bit sketchy. From what I hear, they like to gossip a lot, and if someone is doing well, the others like to try and bring them down. On top of being violent, she's not really selling me on the town, aside from we already own the lot. Oh yeah, and without question, there are a select few who will try to borrow from us at every chance.
What do you guys think? House on her lot in the small town or rent to own in subdivision or rent in the city for a while? Whether we live there or not, we'd like the nippa hut on the farm for the occasional overnight stay.
My answer would depend on how long you have been married, and if you trust your wifes motives 100%. Many men think they know their wives and some do and some do not. It seems to be that most Filipinos dream to own their own home but IMO if your wife loves you totally, then she would be willing to be wherever you decide is the best place to be for you. My wife and I picked the city which is at least 2 hours from her closest relatives and while I like to visit them at times, and I do not mind some coming to visit us with our permission, I like our privacy and would not wish to live tooooo close to family or have anyone just drop in, and that is not because most are a problem but because some can be.
It seems that there are too many 'not knowns' at the moment for a commitment to buying. Rent until the picture is clearer & you know as much as possible, that it is the right choice.
Uzi
I'm in agreement. We wouldn't have the money to buy or build a nice house at the moment anyways. So when she mentions stay on the farm in a nippa house, I think she's thinking one month, and I'm more realistically thinking 6 months! And I don't want to live in a nippa house for 6 months, so I'd just rather rent until we see how the farm goes and if we're making money off it.
Have you heard anything good or bad about the rent to own places? I heard of one family that's in to a 20 year plan or something, but by the end of that they'll have paid double what the house is worth in straight up cash at the moment. Might work for them since I suppose they couldn't afford to pay all at once. But any scams or bad deals you guys have heard about?
Posted 06 August 2010 - 09:09 PM
I live 8 years now in a medium class sudbivision at the outskirts of Manila.
Homes cost from 1-3 million pesos without improvements (meaning: fence, tiles, a/c, hot water, kitchen cabinets) Add up one more million to your final bill to make the house nice but not extended. These houses are from 50-80m2 living area on a 75-120m2 lots.
Most of the houses are getting renovated and extended. The looks are from medium to ugly according to the taste and budget of the owner. In general is ok for me.
My neighbors are 95% OFW, seamen, professionals with their own succesfully established businesses or medium to high level goverment employees.
I have no complains what so ever. Yes there were people as mentioned on the first post but soon they disappeared as they were not to last long. Most are people as me who work and try the best for their family.
Gossip is a kingdom but i wouldn't care less about it. I am used to it and it rather amuses me when they gossip me.
Money no one is asking since they know i do not have to give. I have the everyday social relations with all my neighbors and participate to the community actively for the good things. E.G.: they raise funds for a basketball tournament, i never go to watch but i would give my 100p. I support healthy practices which flourish the community.
It is a fenced subdivision with controlled (not too strict) entrance and roving guards. We have our swiming pools, basket, tennis, clubhouse (nice one!!!) and other amenities. I have seen way much better but for the what i paid and what i get i am more than happy.
My kid plays on the street with all the other kids and i am worries free since for every 4-6 kids there will be a couple of maids watching them, mine the neighbors...and so on.
The cars people are driving are similar type (i have a honda city 2006) and no one brags with the latest expedition or so. In my first year i was asked why i do not have this or that, i explained and showed them that i have what i need and is practical to me and not the what would show to them if i have money or not. They have accepted me in the community and they repsect me. My opinion to them is valid. Their opinion is valid to me too.
I want to believe i live in the real world of the new filipinos who strive for their family future and trying to take away from their backs the weights of a culture that kept them down.
it is a new subdivision (9 years old) and people came to live there from all over the country. They do not have relatives ates and titos around them (other than few or the ones who live in) and due to the size of the house there is no family with anyone else than the couple the kids and perhaps an elder or a borther/sister.
When we have a fiesta (birthdays etc) we all do more or less the same kind of fiestas and we all have agreed on that. We can do less but no more, a modest middle class family fiesta. We all invite each other but there is the common understanding that we will not get drunk in their place and after an hour or so we leave so to leave the close family to enjoy as they like.
They take place on fridays or Saturdays if they will keep late and that would be midnight to 1am, if in week day we all finish by 9-10pm so the ones who work in the morning can sleep.
During night time you hear nothing even if it is a house next to the other.
We watch each other houses, we take care of each other.
We advise each other to what is better and how we can succeed by helping each other than competing with envy. We all have discussed these things. I am putting a business building and my neighbor is putting one too, we both looked the options of what i better to run according to our locations and advised each other accordingly and so we follow.
I am there 8 years now, if it was a trap or a scam i would have felt it by now...No it is not.
It is Philippines, yes it is.
Now there is also the pseudo option one can choose or the real luxury and lavish life styles. I will try to give as an advise in few words. The places where genuine rich filipinos live are way too expensive for a foreigner to live in (who would pay a half or a million dollars to buy a house in Philippines?) and that is where you find genuine rich and lavish life style.
The pseudo ones are where the ones who one way or another made a few bucks extra and want to be "upscaled" or class A citizens, something similar to the series of the desperate wives on the tv. Many wives do want to take us to live there, talk to them, show them, they do not know. Not that they are bad or so, simply they have over estimatighted a few values in life.
Posted 06 August 2010 - 09:33 PM
joeatmanila, on 06 August 2010 - 09:09 PM, said:
I live 8 years now in a medium class sudbivision at the outskirts of Manila.
Homes cost from 1-3 million pesos without improvements (meaning: fence, tiles, a/c, hot water, kitchen cabinets) Add up one more million to your final bill to make the house nice but not extended. These houses are from 50-80m2 living area on a 75-120m2 lots.
Most of the houses are getting renovated and extended. The looks are from medium to ugly according to the taste and budget of the owner. In general is ok for me.
My neighbors are 95% OFW, seamen, professionals with their own succesfully established businesses or medium to high level goverment employees.
I have no complains what so ever. Yes there were people as mentioned on the first post but soon they disappeared as they were not to last long. Most are people as me who work and try the best for their family.
Gossip is a kingdom but i wouldn't care less about it. I am used to it and it rather amuses me when they gossip me.
Money no one is asking since they know i do not have to give. I have the everyday social relations with all my neighbors and participate to the community actively for the good things. E.G.: they raise funds for a basketball tournament, i never go to watch but i would give my 100p. I support healthy practices which flourish the community.
It is a fenced subdivision with controlled (not too strict) entrance and roving guards. We have our swiming pools, basket, tennis, clubhouse (nice one!!!) and other amenities. I have seen way much better but for the what i paid and what i get i am more than happy.
My kid plays on the street with all the other kids and i am worries free since for every 4-6 kids there will be a couple of maids watching them, mine the neighbors...and so on.
The cars people are driving are similar type (i have a honda city 2006) and no one brags with the latest expedition or so. In my first year i was asked why i do not have this or that, i explained and showed them that i have what i need and is practical to me and not the what would show to them if i have money or not. They have accepted me in the community and they repsect me. My opinion to them is valid. Their opinion is valid to me too.
I want to believe i live in the real world of the new filipinos who strive for their family future and trying to take away from their backs the weights of a culture that kept them down.
it is a new subdivision (9 years old) and people came to live there from all over the country. They do not have relatives ates and titos around them (other than few or the ones who live in) and due to the size of the house there is no family with anyone else than the couple the kids and perhaps an elder or a borther/sister.
When we have a fiesta (birthdays etc) we all do more or less the same kind of fiestas and we all have agreed on that. We can do less but no more, a modest middle class family fiesta. We all invite each other but there is the common understanding that we will not get drunk in their place and after an hour or so we leave so to leave the close family to enjoy as they like.
They take place on fridays or Saturdays if they will keep late and that would be midnight to 1am, if in week day we all finish by 9-10pm so the ones who work in the morning can sleep.
During night time you hear nothing even if it is a house next to the other.
We watch each other houses, we take care of each other.
We advise each other to what is better and how we can succeed by helping each other than competing with envy. We all have discussed these things. I am putting a business building and my neighbor is putting one too, we both looked the options of what i better to run according to our locations and advised each other accordingly and so we follow.
I am there 8 years now, if it was a trap or a scam i would have felt it by now...No it is not.
It is Philippines, yes it is.
Now there is also the pseudo option one can choose or the real luxury and lavish life styles. I will try to give as an advise in few words. The places where genuine rich filipinos live are way too expensive for a foreigner to live in (who would pay a half or a million dollars to buy a house in Philippines?) and that is where you find genuine rich and lavish life style.
The pseudo ones are where the ones who one way or another made a few bucks extra and want to be "upscaled" or class A citizens, something similar to the series of the desperate wives on the tv. Many wives do want to take us to live there, talk to them, show them, they do not know. Not that they are bad or so, simply they have over estimatighted a few values in life.
A well written post. Your observations are spot on IMO. It seems that you have found that happy medium of living on a sub division while still getting to experience the REAL Philippines ie:
Quote
They take place on fridays or Saturdays if they will keep late and that would be midnight to 1am, if in week day we all finish by 9-10pm so the ones who work in the morning can sleep.
We watch each other houses, we take care of each other.
And for sure you hit the nail on the head with:
Quote
Uzi

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